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The food in our
school canteen is perfect.
If your a bug!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: Our puppy toilet trained on it
What kind of food do maths teachers eat?
Square meals!
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A man said his credit card was
stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than
his wife did.
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
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Father: How were
the exam questions ?
Son: Easy
Father: Then why look so unhappy ?
Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, just the answers !
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failed every subject except for
algebra.
How did you keep from failing that ?
I didn't take algebra !
A college student in a philosophy
class was taking his first examination.
On the paper there was a single line which simply said: 'Is this a question?' -
Discuss.
After a short time he wrote: 'If that is a question, then this is an answer.'
The student received an 'A' on the exam.
Mannu is
appearing for his university final examination, which consisted of 'yes' or 'no'
questions.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five
minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration removes a coin and starts tossing the
coin and marking the answer sheet - 'Yes' for Heads and 'No' for Tails.
Within half an hour he is all done while the rest of the class is still sweating
it out.
During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering
and sweating.
The moderator approaches him and asks what is going on.
'Sir, I finished the exam in half an hour. But I'm rechecking my answers.' His
reply.
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DIVORCE COURT
SCENE :
The Judge (J.) asks the little girl (LG):
Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?
LG - No, my mummy beats me.
J. - Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.
LG - No, my daddy beats me too.
J. - Well then, who do you want to live with?
LG - I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody !!!
Ya Khuda! what a
match that was against India. Taught me so much. Never in my life should I
forget following things that I learnt from todays match (if i were to keep my
reputation intact in future)...
1. Never bowl short length delivery to Sachin Tendulkar.... he can cut and pull
and hook very well...
2. Never bowl full length delivery to Sachin Tendulkar.... he can drive like no
one else in world..
3. Never bowl good length delivery to Sachin Tendulkar.... he can play on the
rise so comfortably..
4. Never bowl outside offstump to Sachin Tendulkar.... he is extremely strong on
offside..
5. Never bowl on pads of Sachin Tendulkar.... he can flick and glance like no
one can..
6. Never bowl a straight line to Sachin Tendulkar.... he can hit that anywhere
in the ground..
7. Never bowl very fast to Sachin Tendulkar.... he uses my pace against me..
8. Never bowl a slow one to Sachin Tendulkar.... he can pick the slower one so
quickly..
9. Never bowl a full toss to Sachin Tendulkar.... the ball finds a way to the
stands..
And the most important thing i learnt from this match...aptly the lesson no. 10
10. Never talk about my dream of clean bowling Sachin Tendulkar in public... he
turns the dream into nightmare...
Anyways, who wants to ball to Sachin Tendulkar again in life.
Khuda haafis! Shabba Khair!!!
...and I don't think Shoaib would have slept at that night.
An applicant was
being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school.
'Tell me,' inquired the interviewer, 'where do you expect to be ten years from
now?'
'Well, let's see,' replied the student.
'It's Wednesday afternoon. I guess I'll be on the golf course by now.'
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Three boys were bragging about
their fathers.
The first one said, 'My father runs so fast he can fire an arrow, start running,
and get there before the arrow!'
The second one said, 'That's nothing! My father can shoot a gun, start running,
and get there before the bullet!'
The third boy just smiled. 'That's nothing. My father is a civil servant. He
gets off work at 5 and is home before 4!'
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